I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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