I can't watch pbs sober anymore
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
last night I used snow as a chaser
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
