hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Plan B is the new Plan A
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
