I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
