hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
