I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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