There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
