Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
He better not be in your backpack
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
