I'm going to jail i love you
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
