maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
