i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
as a side note pls kill me
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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