ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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