i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
