Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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