I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
