Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
COCAINE IS GR8
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Just puked most of my soul out..
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
