hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Im part way to drunk.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize