i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
