R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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