I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
