WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
