can we get nightvision for the apartment?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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