today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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