Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I wish i was in the wii world.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
