I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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