last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
