Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
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