Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
She bit a glass in half.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Randomize
