yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
