and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
