I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
