nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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