I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
