she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
