So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
