My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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