Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
should my penis look like a turkey
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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