I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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