the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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