i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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