somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize