I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
