I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
