she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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