May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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