from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
This is my life. Enjoy the view
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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