Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
