Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
