Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
