Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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