Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
