I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
