Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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