I look better un-naked...
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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