why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
