Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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