This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
