His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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