i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
