On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
