I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
